I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
