Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
