It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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