I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
