haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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