hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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