College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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