how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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