so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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