Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
