i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
