I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
