How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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