Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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