They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
