Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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