you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
