I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
