and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
