Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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