I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
