everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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