Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize