I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
