were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
