you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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