And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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