We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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