i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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