i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
