i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
operation harelip BJ is a go
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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