you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
