It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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