talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
