Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
