return my video game
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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