Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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