toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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