do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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