Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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