I think im going to throw up on grandma
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
