if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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