Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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