WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
