As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
