JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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