I've blown a few things in my day
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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