I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
