i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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