he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize