non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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