I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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