i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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