One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
they call him Oral-B. enough said
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
