Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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