Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize