we're blogging at a bar
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
