i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
