the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
