your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
