Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
