So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
