So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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