You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
