Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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