oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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