man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
