Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize