I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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